my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
