I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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