Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
