the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
