When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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