If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
