Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this boner is exhausting
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
