is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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