Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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