i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
