those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I would fuck him just for his dog
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
