I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
