Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
