I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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