She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
