i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
