Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
