we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
