she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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