it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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