awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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