Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
