yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
