i permit you to call me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
