so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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