I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
