Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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