he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
