could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
