I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
