I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
