You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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