apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
