I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
