you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I die, sorry about rent.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
