do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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