Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
