i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
