hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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