She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
