walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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