i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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