Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
