You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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