you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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