I like my sex mixed with concussions.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
