Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
