This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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