Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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