Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
