I smell stomach acid.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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