Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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