Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
